My Journal

Month: February, 2013

When the end is near …

Taking that step of faith


“I believe that one of life’s greatest risks is never daring to risk.” Oprah Winfrey


There comes a time in our lives where we have a decision to make, that decision has the power to make or break you.

That decision will usually consist of two paths, two paths that go in opposite directions. The first option is the safe path, the second requires you to take a step of faith, it asks you to take one of the greatest risks you may ever take. The decision you make may set the narrative for the rest of your life.

The safe path is the logical option, you will have a better understanding of what that path involves, where it will take you. You have an idea of where that path will meet its end, you know what happens next and as such, you will in all likeliness live a more secure life. To the contrary, taking that step of faith runs the risk of taking you nowhere. But, as with all great risks, it gives you a chance to fulfill yourself in a way in which you could not without taking the risk in the first place. As far as we know, we only get one shot at life, so it is important to understand that what decision you make will ultimately define who you are.

Think of it as being on a game show. The host gives you the option to walk away now with £10,000 … but, you have a second option. You can take that risk and come away with a lot more, but, you may also come away with nothing. That is the risk you take.

One such choice is on my horizon as of this moment. It draws ever closer. But, i already know my choice, i always have. It is one of my greatest contradictions that i am willing to constantly make that risk, take that step of faith. Yet when it comes to religion and god i am unwilling to make such a step due to the lack of evidence and reason, the lack of logic. It is strange that logic be such an important element for me in the god equation. Yet that very same logic has no bearing on my decision to take that step of faith in life, to take risk.  Though, I guess i could attribute this reasoning to my why i am taking on such a project as i am, searching for god.

Someone told me not all that long ago, that in reality when i make a decision that seems illogical to others, it is not in actuality, illogical. I choose the illogical because it is in essence it is logical to me. It is logical to me because it feels right, it is logical because i choose the path of fulfillment and there is no fulfillment without risk. In my heart i realize that i would rather lead a life where i have made that leap of faith in pursuit of fulfillment, than taking the safe route and leading a steady, predictable life.

At 9am,  new years day 2005, the greatest influence in my life, an immortal in my eyes, suddenly became very mortal.

But, i was wrong. He is indeed immortal. His last words, his shadowing influence, his presence and the standards  that he set are ever present. When death called, he had no regrets. When the inevitability of death calls upon me, i too wish to have no regrets.

I would rather risk and fall than wonder at at deaths door, what if …

What is your choice?



Creating the Universe: Test 1

The process of creating the Universe


I haven’t been updating my blog with artistic experiments as much as i should, mainly focusing on the thoughts that drive the expression of the experimentation. I plan to change that from this day forward.

As of this moment, i am working with ideas that will, once completed, form a sequence. A theoretical sequence that is not meant to represent reality, rather i aim make one think. For now, i am making experiments, ‘draft’ imagery if you like. Once specific images have been chosen at the ‘conclusion’ of this side of the project i will rework them to a higher quality and finish. The work will then be exhibited under specific conditions.

The sequence will play out as a story, the story of existence. A purely theoretical sequence that focuses on the emotional side to the exploration of science and faith. The story will express the foundations which birthed, stabilized and which eventually, inevitably will bring an end to our existence.

An example of one of my tests is below, the theme of this specific image is the ‘catalyst’ that birthed the universe. The mysterious light in the image represents an unknown, it represents ‘something’. You could say that ‘something’ is ‘god’.




(please be aware that for space and copyright reasons, the work is sampled at low quality on my blog)


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