My Journal

Month: December, 2012

The intimacy between god and man …?



A majority of Christians i meet have one thing in common, no its not that they are nice people or that they live by the moral code of the bible. What they have in common is this, to term it as they do a relationship with god. What is this, this relationship they talk about? I welcome insight from anyone who claims to have such a thing.

To have a relationship with god it would have to be an emotional being. Now, there is no room for such a being within our existence, at least not to our knowledge. The only way god can be this emotional being is for god to exist outside of our rules, outside of our existence. For god to exist in our domain i cant break it down to any other possibility than god=mathematics. If god is mathematics, then it cant be an emotional being but an endless sequence of rules. So, with what we know and what we can project with our current scientific knowledge today, for god to be this spiritual being it must live outside of our reality no? Such a projection opens god up to an infinite number of possibilities, what it can be, how it exists and so on.

I find it difficult to believe in miracles that many Christians lay claim to witnessing. Just today i was speaking to a lady of faith, she went on to tell me about this baffling story involving god speaking to her and healing her distorted leg many years ago. I wont get into details but i have no explanation for how exactly her leg could have healed by itself when she was briefed by doctors that she would be disabled for life. This happened just over a couple of days from how she described it. She went from being a cripple to dancing about in joy.

Ok, something is missing here.

These kinds of miracles dont exist to our knowledge, or do they? Im willing to bet shes missing key points out in her story, she believes god healed her no doubt but it cant have played out how she claimed. If god is capable of bending the rules with which the universe is based on, being mathematics,  surely we would have witnessed such a thing no? Why is it that the only people who witness these kinds of things are either on drugs, woken up late at night, are suffering from cold temperatures or more to the point, believe in god. I want to witness one of these miracles myself, i want to witness water turning into gold. I want to see it with my eyes, i want to make my own conclusions. I want to rationalize it myself.

This relationship between man and god is supposed to be an emotional one. The holy spirit im told is the key to this relationship. What is the holy spirit? Nicky Gumbel puts it something like this, be filled with the holy spirit and be filled with gods love, like a sponge being drenched in water. Something is really off here. The point im supposedly missing is that god loves me. If i can understand that then everything else will come into place, thats what im told. This just feels ……. i dont even know. What i do know is that something feels very very off. Almost like preying on our need to be loved, which we all suffer from whether we admit it or not. Theres nothing bad about these people, in fact, if youve read my earlier posts they are overwhelmingly good people. I guess, maybe because they feel they have been fulfilled they have a sense of being complete. Hence why they give of a very positive energy? I do not know.  But it would explain this supernatural atmosphere and kindness they give off to others.

As a thinker, i cannot take things at face value. Christianity demands that i do it to understand them, to understand faith and to understand god. They ask i jump of a cliff with a leap of faith, blind faith. I want to understand the Christian mind, i want to see what these people are seeing, i want to experience this relationship with god that they claim to have so i can judge for myself whether they are living in a delusion. It seems i am destined on my current path to go round and round in circles  Something needs to change if i am ever to truly understand the Christian from their perspective, rather than just mine and that of science. I understand the scientist, i understand the general motivations of people in everyday life, but what i do not understand is faith.

Maybe i seek too much in my pursuit of answers. But, i ask for answers to my questions regardless.


Proving god doesn’t exist …?

Why is it …


Why is that some people seem to prefer the idea of there being no such thing as god?

Some people are willing to go to great lengths to prove in their minds, as well as prove to others that god does not exist. Fact is, nobody can answer the question does god exist. Yet, this does not stop people from all walks of life and of all levels of intelligence claiming that god is impossible. That god is for the delusional.


Really, why? I do not get it. Well, in part i do as i covered in my previous post. But still, god represents some form of purpose no? Without there being a god, without even the possibility what is our purpose? If everything is indeed an act of chance, if everything is just a series of accidents how does that make life feel better to you?

Why, seriously now why do some people so badly want to prove that god does not exist? How does that make you more comfortable with your existence? Or maybe these people are not happy on some level with their existence and want to bring that upon others? It will depend on the individual, their reasons for such an attitude.

Its a curious thought though at least for me, that some people so badly want god to be real that i think they are capable of forcing themselves to believe, others so badly want to prove that god does not exist that they delude themselves with logic and science. They hide their emotional response to god behind physics saying god is impossible, when in fact physics does not state that god is impossible.

It really all comes down to how you interpret god in my opinion. If you see god as a white man with a white beard in the clouds then yea, physics has ruined your belief, sorry. But if you interpret god as incomprehensible, as a creator perhaps in another dimension to our existence that  has determined the laws of physics with which rule over us, well, our current knowledge of the universe isn’t really getting in the way as of yet is it? But then its the as of yet bit which many atheists will use as further evidence, saying those of faith prey and hide in the ever decreasing gaps in our knowledge. But its not like that, its not hiding, not for everyone at least. Its more of an acknowledgment that we are small, that we are not god, we are not all knowing.

Claiming to be is ignorance.


Is god impossible …?



Talking with a Physics student, his views on god.

God is impossible

Why do people believe in god then?


A sense of community

Blind faith, wanting to believe in something

Then, i asked him what if there is a god.

If there is a god, i don’t want anything to do with him

Isn’t that last bit rather interesting?

When i asked for him to expand on this comment, he said:

It would take away the purpose of life

Now, things are really getting interesting!

Why is it, that god would take away the purpose of life? Well, from talking with him and knowing him for around a year i could guess what the reason was. If there is a god, at least in the translation of those of faith, being a personal being, then it would take away the ‘achievement’ of man somewhat wouldn’t it? I mean, how can we ever match god? We create an iphone, god creates the universe…… hmm.  I can understand that, its partly why i cannot understand worship. Even if you believe in god, why do you have to kneel and pray, worship? Why? Personally it makes me feel like a beggar, if i was to kneel before god, it would make me feel inferior, under powered, like i am raising the white flag. My physics friend i believe thinks somewhat on the same lines.

Now, i asked him later on if this was the reason maybe why he was so against the idea of god, so heavily atheist that he is arrogant enough to lay claim that god is impossible. He looked to the side, thinking ….. he then said, maybe. But to back himself up he went on to say that god isnt needed to create the universe. He doesn’t not believe in the theories of reality, believing that it is bad science. So what he is left with is what we are, as we know it. And within these rules, god isnt necessarily needed no, i agree. Physics is needed though. Hence his conclusion that:

God could be the laws of physics

Its only really when you consider the possibility that there could be more to life, the universe, existence, more to reality that we realize the idea of a god more along the lines of faith. Within the models we have today in science, in an attempt to understand the universe and our existence in it, a personal god doesn’t exist. At least, there is nothing really to go on within our knowledge. Although we must remember that they are just that, models, and models dont always match reality hence why theories constantly develop as more and more information is included in the model. That said, there really isnt much to go on, well, there’s nothing to go on. Thats not to say that god is impossible within our universe as we see it, but, improbable shall we say.

Now, add more into the mix. If we say take on the idea that we really dont know what reality actually is, say for example, as ive mentioned in earlier posts, we are a reflection of something else, a simulation maybe, in only one dimension of many and so on and many scientists today are wrestling with. Say reality is not the reality we think it is, then, the idea of a personal god becomes very possible. Just, it could change the form in which that personal god exists. Take for instance the simulation theory, god would be the creator of our simulation, but whats the stop the creator being in a simulation itself?

This is an interesting point, the physics student said to me:

‘If god is real, if god is our creator, then i ask, what created god?’

Could things really get more interesting?

This brought on the thought of space and time. He states that time doesn’t exist as its just a vacuum to describe a sequence of events. We are bound by time, and therefore cant understand existence outside of it. We cant understand infinite.

Is space infinite?

If it is not, what is at the end of it?

How is it possible for space, if it is infinite, to be infinite?

If you could travel at infinite speed, you will never reach the limit of the universe, because the only thing you would achieve is to expand it

I quote this from a forum a while back, it stuck. (don’t ask me what forum, i cant remember). This quote describes this thought perfectly, it paints a rather puzzling picture no?

What is in dark space? Nothing?

Makes me remember that film called ‘The Thirteen Floor’ . The idea of each world being a simulation and  as such it had an end, where a man would find the ‘end of the world’.

Basically, to sum up, i do not believe god is impossible. I do however believe in physics, i believe in mathematics. A god that defies these rules that the universe seems to work on seems improbable. It seems improbable because we have witnessed no such miracle where the laws of mathematics have been bent without explanation other than that of a designer putting his hand in. I think, if there is such a thing as god, then it exists outside of time and therefore i do not believe that it acts in the moment so it would not need to bend the rules with which it has put down. For those rules are put into place with a specific outcome in mind. Those rules would allow god to be timeless. Reason being is because one could then see into the future if everything was following such a plan. A god that changes to our actions within our time limits therefore seems rather improbable, it seems too ‘messy’ for a designer that could put the universe into motion.


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