A question of faith … and god

by sjjohnson89

What is it?


I have not posted for some time now, going on a month. In the process of moving property i have come face to face with numerous opportunities to further my knowledge on faith. With the influence of a family i have come to know, my curiosity of what faith is has been heightened.

What is faith?

I am not religious yet i find myself sitting uneasily between the powerhouses of science and Christianity. For the first time in my life i have decided to open my mind, go to church, meet those of faith directly and present my thoughts to them. The response…….. has been interesting. Like all of us, i am prone to judgement and i must say, i have been wrong about those of faith.

Tonight, i found myself among a group of Christians expressing their faith to each other. There was the usual i was going through bad times, i spoke to god and he helped me out of it. There was the arrogant one, the one who thinks they are high and mighty, when they are not. There was also the victim of life, they expressed how god turned that around and how much they thank him for that. But the one who i truly locked horns with and thus, sparked my interest, was what  i did not expect. He was intelligent, he made me stumble on my words, at times he knocked me down and offered his hand as a way back up. He had a counter for almost everything i said, whats more his responses were often plausible.

That is, till i regrouped and continued to challenge him to answer my questions.

What it came down to at the very end was the answer i  had prepared for, he said i dont know. This is an intelligent man, one who has thought through his faith, his ideas paralleled science in alarming ways, at times fusing the two together. But, he had not thought through everything it seems, the words he finished on, the words with which he made his last are evidence of this. One thing is for certain, i have not made him question his faith, nor do i want that to happen. I find this strength of mind fascinating.

He is a man of faith.

I do not understand this blind belief in a being with such certainty that you can talk about your relationship with god like i would talk about mine with my girlfriend, whom i might add i love more than anything in this world. He said to me until you experience it (the holy spirit), i cannot show you the way. These words are like sticking a brick wall between us, how do i get past it? The simple answer is i cannot. I cannot unless i can understand faith. Can i understand faith? I do not believe i ever can, not in the way that a christian does. It seems apparent to me that to have faith, you have to be willing to bypass knowledge that defies that faith. This is something i cannot do, a theory is just a theory, a coincidence is just a coincidence unless it is proven otherwise. I find it ironic that they use coincidence as proof of their faith, yet refuse to give overwhelming evidence that clashes with their faith a look in. It seems to be a game of making up the rules as we go so to speak at times. Tweaking things here and there to allow one to relate in a more comfortable manner.

How can i invest my life and soul into something that is so riddled with holes? Religion is riddled with holes, it turns a blind eye to facts that clash with it scriptures. Science is also equally riddled with holes, filled with arrogance and leaps to so called facts which in actuality turn out to be just theories. But i can see a day when we are more than we are today, where religion and science meet. This is something i will talk about in the near future.

I have yet to witness a miracle where the rules of the universe are bent to make way for god. Yet, the universe in itself is a miracle is it not? If there is a creator, it does not mean that it has the ability to bend the rules of which our reality is built upon. It would be like the domino effect, everything is in balance one way or another, change one thing and it affects everything else. Mathematics defines the universe, the rules with which can be calculated allowing us to look into the past and into the future. But, as a man of faith would say, understanding how the universe works does not answer why there is a universe in the first place. That is an intriguing thought.

We humans think we are greater than we are. We place too much stock in our limited intelligence, we turn our emotional reactions into so called logic, some of us become twisted and state there is no such thing as god. This question, in my opinion, is something that nobody on earth can answer. When we try to understand what god is, we place restrictions on what it can be whether we like it or not. This is because we are human, we are caged by the rules with which we live in and therefore we cant understand existence outside of them.

Until we are free of these rules, until we are all knowing and all powerful attempting to comprehend god is like trying to study micro-organisms with a magnifying glass.