The shadow …

by sjjohnson89

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The shadow figure has been an obsession in my mind for as long as i can remember.

From a child till i was in my middle teens, i have memories/images of elongated figures, one smaller than the other though both almost inhumanly tall. I only ever saw them when it was dark, as a result i was never able to see their eyes as their brow rendered them pitch black.

I have memories of them standing at the end of my bed, I have memories where i would wake in the middle of the night, the only one up, to see them standing at the end/edge of my bed. For years i dismissed it as being nothing but a hallucination  taking into account that i only ever saw them at night where my consciousnesses was likely to wander. I dismissed them sometimes as dreams.

It wasn’t till my granddads death when i was aged 15, new years day 2005 that my mum expressed seeing the same two figures despite the fact that i never talked with her about it. The night before my granddad died, we were in hospital, we walked into an elevator and as the doors closed my mum saw these two figures walking up to us. The doors closed before they reached us.

My mum would later talk about them, she saw them when i was born, standing in the corner of the room. After a while she went on to say that she woke up once to the sound of voices in my room at night, talking to each other. She got up and came into my room, but this time she saw nothing.

Some people would say, whatever they were, they were real. Others would say, whatever it was, it was just in your head, both of your heads due to tiredness and fatigue.  Others would say, i have no comment.

Whatever they were, real or not, i know that they have occupied my mind most of my life. When i doodle, i draw them, when i do art, they are often central to the work. What were they? And why is it, i have never seen them since the death of my granddad? Whether they were a hallucination or not, why did it stop there?

I know only this, when i think of them, i think of mortality, i think of time, i think of the future despite the fact that i saw them in the past.

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