'…BEYOND…'

My Journal

Month: October, 2012

What happens when it all ends …?

Death of all that we know

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It is inevitable that the universe will die, every star will plunge into darkness. When that final star shines its last light, when there is nothing but dead stars and black holes, nothing but darkness, is that the end?

Life as we know it will be long gone by that time. But, man relentlessly strives for innovation, so much so that we run the risk of distorting what we are, so much so that we might one day even destroy ourselves in the name of it. But through innovation, is it possible that we, the human race, could find a way to survive? Would man really even want to survive in an age of eternal darkness?

Could we?

As the final star burns our race would almost certainly, if not extinct, be concentrated around it. We would be using the last energy of that sun to survive. But to continue to survive when that final star dies, we would need to create our own energy. Our own star?

If man does survive past the last burning star, what would we have to be in order to continue to exist? We could not be human, not as we are today. For we are too fragile, we are mortal and too reliant on the rules set before us.If man survives to the final days of the burning stars, we would need to become more than we are, more than human.

But, if man did survive, our intelligence would be unimaginable by such a time. We would have broken away from the cycle of life set before us, we would have become more than human .We would have to hold the power of creation, we would need it in order to continue to supply ourselves with the energy we need to survive.

In a way, we would become something in the image of god.

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Test 3 …

Man meets the creator, creator meets its creator …?

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Visualizing the theory of being in a simulation from the perspective of man meeting the creator.

The man, almost insignificant next to the higher being. Man stares into its future, it wants to be god. Man’s creator stands tall next to him, its eyes illuminating bright light, it sees what man can only imagine, it believes it is god. Yet, the higher being also finds itself standing in the face of its creator.

Man and the higher being with which it seeks to become, both find themselves in the face of a true unknowable other, in the face of the true god.

Two examples of my tests with this idea are displayed above. Feel free to comment on the work itself, or the themes with which i am working alongside.

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Crossroads …

Emotion and feeling vs numbers and logic

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Have you ever done something that goes against logic, it goes against numbers, you did it because it felt right?

As someone who hears both voices, i have to deal with this everyday of my life.

I have to choose between my mind and my heart. My choices though are in actuality, when it comes down to such a decision, very straightforward.  I follow my heart, i have done so for quite some time, going against that now would be denying myself. That said, i hear the logic, i hear the numbers, more so, i hear them from other people, from society. It tries to suppress my heart, it tries to tell me that i am wrong, it tries to dictate what i do, it tries to dictate who i am and what i will become.

Have my feelings taken me down a bad road? Have they tricked me, taken me places with which threaten me? From a certain point of view one could say yes, they have. Do i regret any of my decisions based on feelings? No. I do however regret decisions that i have made based on logic and numbers, they led me to a cold place. It wasn’t my feelings that led me to darkness, it was logic and numbers. The darkness was a reflection of my heart, its suffering at the hands of logic, its the suffering of being alive in an environment that was not.

A heart cannot survive in an environment of numbers and logic, it is comparable to the life of a flame atop a candle, eventually it will burn out. The only way for that heart to survive is to keep that fame alight, the only way to do that is to listen to your heart.

Life will challenge you, following your heart is not a path that is easy to walk.

The heart has to have faith in itself, for it may not receive it from others.

Next time you stand at such crossroads, where you have a choice to follow your heart or your logic, i ask you to think before you act, take your time, for life rarely grants you second chances.

Walk away from your heart and it may be forever lost.

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The shadow …

?

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The shadow figure has been an obsession in my mind for as long as i can remember.

From a child till i was in my middle teens, i have memories/images of elongated figures, one smaller than the other though both almost inhumanly tall. I only ever saw them when it was dark, as a result i was never able to see their eyes as their brow rendered them pitch black.

I have memories of them standing at the end of my bed, I have memories where i would wake in the middle of the night, the only one up, to see them standing at the end/edge of my bed. For years i dismissed it as being nothing but a hallucination  taking into account that i only ever saw them at night where my consciousnesses was likely to wander. I dismissed them sometimes as dreams.

It wasn’t till my granddads death when i was aged 15, new years day 2005 that my mum expressed seeing the same two figures despite the fact that i never talked with her about it. The night before my granddad died, we were in hospital, we walked into an elevator and as the doors closed my mum saw these two figures walking up to us. The doors closed before they reached us.

My mum would later talk about them, she saw them when i was born, standing in the corner of the room. After a while she went on to say that she woke up once to the sound of voices in my room at night, talking to each other. She got up and came into my room, but this time she saw nothing.

Some people would say, whatever they were, they were real. Others would say, whatever it was, it was just in your head, both of your heads due to tiredness and fatigue.  Others would say, i have no comment.

Whatever they were, real or not, i know that they have occupied my mind most of my life. When i doodle, i draw them, when i do art, they are often central to the work. What were they? And why is it, i have never seen them since the death of my granddad? Whether they were a hallucination or not, why did it stop there?

I know only this, when i think of them, i think of mortality, i think of time, i think of the future despite the fact that i saw them in the past.

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What if you could live forever …?

Saying goodbye to mortality

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Whether immortality is possible or not is one thing, but contemplating on the effects of such a revolution is another. I ask the question to you, how does your mortality affect your life, if it was taken away from you, would it really be better?

What if we made old age and disease obsolete?

What if mortality was a thing of the past?

Would you really want that?

When we lose a loved one we feel they have been taken away from us, we feel like an injustice has been thrown down upon us. We often wish we could be forever young, to never fall victim to age and illness.

But ask yourself this, would you really want that?

Our mortality is what makes life so special. When we are made aware of our fragile existence, when our world is shaken, that’s often when we appreciate life the most.

Think of how so many take what they have for granted, if mortality is no longer something which awaits us all, would we have any regard for life?

Would life mean anything anymore?

What would that make us?

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Test 2 …

Translating a simulation into an image

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Following on from my thoughts on the theory of simulation, that we ourselves may actually be in a simulation, i have been exploring the ideas visually. Essentially, my thoughts that i convey on this blog are focused through the art on an emotional level. The art becomes an imprint of that emotion, if created successfully.

Is there a god?

Could we really be in a simulation?

If we are who’s to say that god, the one who created our simulation, is not in a simulation itself?

These are the three primary questions explored in these tests below. I’m exploring on an emotional level the idea of man meeting god, the idea of god being what we seek to become, the idea of multiple worlds where a creator lies.

There are two distinct types of figure, one shorter than the rest which represents humanity. The other, is far taller, darker and has eyes that radiate bright light. The eyes representing all seeing, the height representing  power, the extended limbs and head of the shadow figure represents ‘intelligence’. It looks to have an essence of humanity, it is a reflection of what we seek to become, it is our future. The bright light, the sphere, represents an actual god. Its form not distinct, its purpose in the image in question. Basically it is how we perceive god, everyone has got their own image of what he/it is.

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God in Relationship to a Simulation …?

The biggest question of all 

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So many questions end with perhaps the question of all questions.

Is there a god?

Can god exist?

What is god?

The more my understanding of life develops, the more interesting this question becomes. Specifically in this post i want to talk further on the idea of a simulation. This time though, more directly in regards to our current world.

Some philosophers state that if we are able to create a fully simulated world, that it heightens the possibility that we ourselves are in a simulated world. If we can create that simulation, we ourselves may be in someone else’s. If so, god could be, essentially, the designer of our simulation? As we would become god to the world with which we simulate. On this line of thought, who’s to say then if we live in such a simulation, that whatever simulated us isn’t also in a simulation?

What if we were in a simulation, how would that make you feel?

How would it change the world in which we live in?

How would we ever even know whether or not we are in a simulation?

Would it be possible, if we are in a simulation, to be part of the world which created us?

If we can create a world, if we are in a simulation, how many times then has this process repeated itself?

Would there be a base reality, with which the true world lies?

If we are in a simulation, then the idea of life being a test starts to hold new meaning. What would we be tested for, for what purpose? What is the end result of such a test? This line of thought sends a chill up my spin, such a reality would be a daunting one indeed.

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The Future of Simulation …?

A thought

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In time, advancements in simulation technology we will undoubtedly begin to blur the boundaries between what we define as real and what is simulation.

Look at it this way, think of a video game you enjoy playing. It is in essence a form of escapism, when in that game world you are no longer you, instead you become that character. Pick up say a boxing sim but you yourself in actuality are only 5ft1 and weigh just over a 100 pounds. In the world of the game it is irrelevant, it lets you be whatever you want to be, you can become ‘the greatest’ in that world. That may be a near physical impossibility in their actual reality.

Lets take the point of view of someone who hasn’t achieved what they wanted to in life. Lets say, they wanted to be a world famous musician. For whatever reason be it lack of opportunity,  ability or too many commitments,  they are not gaining ground on that dream. Someone approaches them and talks about this simulation, it allows you to live in a simulated world, you can be what you want to be, do what you want to do. Lets say that this simulation attaches to all your senses like touch, sight and smell. How would you separate the experiences you have in the simulation from real life. How would they feel when they go back to their reality? Think of it like superman giving you his powers for the day, only to be brought back to earth and become human again the next.

How would you feel?

What would you give to live in that world? Could you? Would you?

How could such a thing be used? Could we go as far one day as to simulate entire worlds? With science getting ever nearer to inevitably creating true A.I, could we distinguish those that are human from those that are not? Simulation from reality?

How would we know that we ourselves aren’t in a simulation?

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The Woman …

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Have you ever met someone that changed how you view the world, how you live, how you feel and how you think?

I used to see the world in black and white, i lived in a world covered in darkness and demons. There was but a star in the sky that gave me hope, it kept me from destroying myself. That star was, in fact, but a dream. It was not a reality, it was blind hope. I would hope for the sake of hoping, knowing that if you live without hope then you are already dead.

I didnt know myself, i just knew i had to keep on going, keep moving and follow my heart. I knew logic was the darkest path of all. I knew it would kill whatever was left of that burning light inside me. The part of me that was pure, the part that defined me as me.

Lost, confused and following a path laid before me. All i knew in my heart was that i had to keep following this path, i could not see in front of me and i dared not to look behind me.

I found myself distancing more and more, distancing from this world and becoming increasingly engrossed in my own. I was essentially creating my own reality.

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Then …

Something changed one day, someone changed me.

I now felt purpose, the darkness with which surrounded me began to cower to the light. No demon would touch her for she was brighter than any star in the sky. But she was like me, we were lost and would one day lose ourselves to the darkness within us.

We rescued each other. I ask ….. was it fate?

We met at such a time in our lives that had it been a little sooner or a little later we likely would not have been. We found each other  under such unconventional circumstances and at exactly the right time in our lives, we had both come to crossroads with which there may have been no turning back. We found ourselves falling for each other when we were committed to another.

But in doing so, we found each other.

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Part 3 – The shadow figure

Representing oneself, others and the world

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The human figure is very important in my work. It represents myself, others and the world as the title suggests.

For the last couple of years the figure has had no identity in my work. Instead, the figure is reduced to shadow. The reason for this is that it symbolizes more than one person, one expression, one thought etc.

People ask me, is the figure you? Yes, it is. But its not just me. Its more than me. Its my emotions, its my thoughts, its my life, its my experiences and its how the world sees me and how i look at it. More than that, it is an idea, a theory, it is too much to express in one person or many. It is like staring out a window and staring back in both at the same time.

The figure is an ‘unknowable other’ not because it is unknowable, but because it chooses to be.

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